WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION AT PDM
Shocking news today as an elderly lady removes a rocket launcher from her purse and threatens to kill a prepubescent young boy. He crawled into a ball on the ground and cried after the elderly lady punched him to the ground. Disgusting. This can only mean 1 thing. Mongorians are behind this.
BIKERS SAVE DAY
Bikers saving the day outside of the pillbox hospital. This individual, Rudi decided enough was enough when the Officers refused to help and defended a poor innocent man. When asked for a comment, Rudi told me he would not stop till everyone criminal is stopped! What a saint!
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DRUGS AND GUNS AT APARTMENTS
Here we have it. Undeniable proof that the city is in a state of decay. We must go out and seek our own large scale weapons to defend ourselves now. But not from me, Tuong Ru Kim, I do not have any of those. Don't ask again. *wink, wink.
SUN MOON SELLS DRUGS TO TROOPER
Appalling footage as Sun Moon is seen to be offloading bags full of drugs to Officer Dupont in exchange for money. The PD appears to be the largest gang in the city. What can we do to stop this? Weapons of mass destruction? Maybe. But definatly not from me, because, I don't have any...
OFFICER RUNS OVER INNOCENT CIVILIAN
In this horrifying new story we have an Officer of the law, Jenny Hall, backing carelessly into a poor civilian. The footage of this event can be found here. https://clips.twitch.tv/CrunchyObliqueHabaneroTriHard thankfully the poor person was able to walk away with their life, but will you be as lucky? I think not. Consider arming yourself with a WMD today, totally not from me.
STUPID CRIMNAL ROBS BANK
SNOWS WIG FALLS OFF!!!
Officer snow of the PD was gunned down in cold blood over an argument of wether a dolphin is made of spaghetti or not. Snow stated that Dolphins are not made of spaghetti and the man angrily attempted to shot him down.
Luckily, Snow was quick to pull his bullet proof wig from his head and use it to protect himself from the bullets.
CLOWN VS MONGOLIAN
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A young Mongolian boy was caught up in a bad situation against his arch nemesis 'The Clown'. The 2 argued when suddenly the clown snapped and pulled a weapon of mass destruction. Nobody has seen the young Mongolian boy since and it is alleged the clown has sold him for a new pair of squeaky shoes. Good ridance!
This guy wants you to go to his gym. He says if you don't he'll get you with his guns. This is a paid promotion and does not represent City News in any way what so ever and we do not support the gym or think anyone should attend. He will likely stab you with his adamantium claws.
NEW STORE IN LOS SANTOS!
Theres a new grocery store in town located near the high class strip club. This WMD harbouring Doctor with no credentials is offering free medical care to the poor and unfortunate. He's an asshole though and is not to be trusted. He will steal your organs while you sleep and use them to create a clone of you. Approach at your own risk.
PDM SUPPORTS GANGS!
You probably think that your local car store is a safe place and that theres no way this establishment is part of some corrupt business practices, but, you're wrong. Here you can see this worker of the store offering discounts to local gangs in an attempt to win favour with them and supply the war against the City https://clips.twitch.tv/PleasantCarefulPidgeonSaltBae the words spoken here are truly terrifying and they probably supply them weapons of mass destruction too.